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AMERICAN WINDSURFER
ON-LINE Magazine
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My newest windsurfing experience was the best of my life and it didn’t happen on the water. I just returned from spending two days with my new friend Gavin Grow. My decision to spend some time with Gavin had been premeditated ever since I read about his story in this magazine. For some reason a vision of him stuck in my mind like a killer wave sailing session.
My first impression when seeing Gavin lying on his bed, was one of seeing a frail body incapacitated from a debilitating injury. But within seconds of witnessing the supposed external expression of his soul, I actually saw an immense power emanating from his eyes. It was something that I have rarely experienced before.
In the teachings of yoga, it is said that the eyes of a person fully express the light of their individual souls. By looking into the eyes of a person, we can intuitively absorb most of what their character and heart are made of. In that instant I saw in Gavin a power that I have rarely witnessed in any other human being.
This was a pretty profound experience for me as I have had the opportunity to meet some pretty cool people. Three presidents of the United States, kings, queens, princesses, rock stars, movie stars, famous artists, leaders of science and philosophy, some very wealthy people, and some of the world’s greatest religious personalities. But Gavin’s stare somehow conveyed more energy than I had consciously experienced before.
We spent the night with Gavin, having dinner and were made to feel at home by his close friends Steve and his wife Nancy. The next day we woke up and had a leisurely morning as Gavin patiently waited for us to shower, eat, check our emails and get ready to take his first ride in his new lift converted van. He had the van for days before we arrived but saved the first ride for Art, John and me. We loaded Gavin into the van and drove him to his local beach for the second time in 13 years! (The first time had been with John Chao on his first visit a few years back.) It was great fun to take him to the beach and see him out and enjoying something we all take for granted: freedom and mobility.
As we drove around, I reminisced over the similarities in our childhood’s, growing up on the gulf coast, spending most of our time in the water: sailing, fishing, surfing, windsurfing, swimming and exploring the tiny islands that dot the inter-coastal waterways. I imagined how I would deal with life if I was in his shoes.
After a few hours of driving, fun and excitement, we went to a waterfront restaurant to have some lunch. As we waited for our table, it became apparent that Gavin was getting too weak to wait for lunch. So we took Gavin home and got him back on his bed so that he could be horizontal again. (Sitting in his electric wheel chair for long periods of time really wears him out.)
When we got him home, I realized how tired he was. He had been organizing everything for our visit: the preparation and renovation of the van and making sure we were all taken care of. It was truly a mammoth two weeks for the man. And he never complained, even though sometimes he is in serious pain and discomfort. But you would never know it from his actions.
All through those two days, I completely took it for granted that Gavin is just an ordinary person who cannot walk. In fact he is paralyzed from the lower neck down, but has gained some movement in his arms and shoulders through sheer determination. His hands do not function, but he still manages to get things done—like type on his computer, feed himself with a spoon and brush his teeth with a special brace he wears. This is amazing, considering any physical activity takes a lot of energy for him to accomplish. Everything he does takes serious effort and willpower—even small and mundane activities.
Besides the obvious physical limitations, the real strength of Gavin is found in his character. If we all could be as patient, kind and respectful as he is with sincerity, it would be quite an achievement. Imagine having to rely on others to do simple tasks for you, day in and day out, and always doing it with a kind word and a respectful tone, even while sometimes being in severe pain. Never a harsh word. After all, any break in his routine is very taxing on his energy reserves.
Gavin has to rely on family and friends to do most of the things we take completely for granted. Simple things like preparing meals and bathing have to be done for him. Now Gavin is pretty amazing as he answers the phone without the use of the fingers of his hands, uses a computer, does accounting book work as a part-time job, reads books, controls his TV, stereo, and tapes TV shows for his neighbors with his VCR. Mind you that he presses the buttons with his tongue, and somehow manages to find a way to get it all done.
The most amazing thing about Gavin is his patience. In this modern day era of immediate gratification, he is a model of this virtue. He was never aggressive in his speech, never a harsh word if we messed up something in his routine, always orchestrating all the daily activities with whoever was willing to help. He leads as busy and regular life as he can. This man has worked through incredible hardships. He is about as independent as he can be in his situation.
It was humbling to see the symbols of the compassion and love thousands of people sent him, filling his shelves and covering his walls. He has written thousands of letters to authors, sports personalities, movie stars, and any company that made a product that he could not afford to buy on his own. Almost everything in his house he has acquired through his persistently asking for things and by sharing with others the story of his life. He has more autographed memorbilia than a Planet Hollywood! The list of some of the things he has acquired through his correspondences include his $12,000 wheel chair, a sky light, appliances, movies, computer games, music, a beautiful gray amazon parrot and food for it for life, books (Gavin reckons he has read at least 2000), a security system with video cameras and video screen, airbrushing on his van, etc.
Never was any arrogance expressed for his simple abundance. Gavin always stayed grateful for what he had received from others. Truly a remarkable human being. I could never show the grace and dignity that this man embodies. I was truly humbled by the strength, dignity and purity of his character. He is truly a hero for who and what he has accomplished in his life so far. And now that he is mobile, the whole world is opening up. Gavin had been spending 95% of his time limited to a bed.
He is the perfect reminder that every moment in life is a gift. We should never take anything for granted. I was reminded and awakened to the power of gratitude and how to live my life by giving constant thanks for what I have. He is a master of the indomitable human spirit and a great teacher without even trying.
I came to play the role of hero and came away finding a new inspiration for myself. Sometimes God has a funny way of showing that LOVE is who we are. Gavin has reminded me that the only limitations we experience in life comes from our own limited vision.
It is said that we are made in the spiritual image of God. As children of the one infinite spirit that unifies all beings in this ever expanding universe, we are powerful creators beyond our wildest dreams. Gavin reminds us of the reality within all of us. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” is infinitely true in the expression of his life.
Life is a gift, don’t take it for granted. Use your talents and resources to the fullest. Do something to improve the quality of someone else’s life. The love will flow back to you 10 fold. I know, I just spent a few days with Gavin Grow.
Gavin, thank you for being a true hero and I love you for who you are.
Olympian Michael Gebhardt is going for the Gold in Australia. He already has a Bronze and a Silver metal. Anyone interested in helping him be the first to receive all three metals should contact him at mgebi@yahoo.com
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