A TEST WRITER'S NIGHTMARE
by Sam Moses, Senior Editor
Self Portrait of a Typical Guest Tester:
Name: Mega Dog (because Mad Dog is common) Mulder
Age: 44
Height: 6 feet, nine inches
Weight: 240 pounds
Number of years windsurfing: 14
Sailing days per year: 30
Where: Central California Coast
Conditions sailed most: Semi whiteout, full-on Monster waves
Favorite conditions: Ice-cold, shark-filled water, bitter howling winds, stinging surf spray
Equipment sailed most: All the stuff with duct tape holding it together
Favorite board/sail combination: None-but I do prefer those without holes
Sailing strong points: Endurance-I don't get tired, I can stay on for hours
Weak points: My looks
Present goal: To look pretty
T-shirt size: XX Large
After more than two weeks, we've gotten some interesting comments on the equipment from our guest testers. It may be dangerous to quote those that aren't representative or composite, because they're only one man or woman's opinion-and there have definitely been some disagreements on the ratings sheets. But you might like to hear some juicy ones anyhow. So, here are a few. Please don't take them as anything other than opinions from sailors whose abilities and preferences you know nothing about. In other words, they might very well be bullshit.
A few second week testers: John Stella, David Watson, Ed Jardini, Mega Dog Mulder, Shan Thomas, and Bill Russell
BOARDS
HiFly 262: A great bump and jump board, but too fast for the waves with its huge stock fin.
RRD 250: Roberto, Roberto, Roberto! Your 250 transforms this mere mortal into an invincible windsurfing god.
RRD 250 (another opinion): It was totally dead.
Bic Saxo Free Wave 264: It should be called the Free Ride, because it's not a wave board.
Starboard Fish 90 (7' 11", 90 liters): Fun, forgiving, I like the thrusters, but it rides so. differently.
RRD 286: Great for large dudes. Capable of handling my 240 pounds mashing on its tail. [Thank you, Mega Dog]
Bic Techno 283: Points upwind like a demon, but jibing was a real pain.
RRD 266: Better than the comparable F2.
HiFly 253: A superb, gold standard, very fine production wave board.
HiFly 282: A reasonable purchase for a 300-pound lake sailor.
RRD 265 TwinTip Freestyle: Turns on a dime for a wide board, and jumps well. A breakthrough design.
RRD 265 (another opinion): It was totally dead.
RRD 248, 254 and 258 wave boards: The graphics are so ugly!
SAILS
Hot Sails Maui 4.3 Slide: I think I'm in love.
Windwing 4.7 Catalyst Air: I sailed it both underpowered and overpowered, and had a great time.
Hot Sails Maui 6.0 Stealth no-cam: A great sail with power and versatility.
Sailworks 6.0 Retro no-cam: (overpowered) Jesus Christ, this thing is fast! (powered just right) Wow, this is so soft and easy. (underpowered) Pumps great.
Then there was the tester who didn't indicate which of our three Pryde 5.0 sails it was he rated. When I later asked him, he said it was the, um, NR-yeah, that's it, the NR. He gave it only average power. This is Dunkerbeck's sail. Somehow, I doubt if this tester had his Prydes straight.
(See the previous Postcard from the Water's Edge.)
OK, those were some provocative comments, now here's a gallon of white milk. "All the boards and sails here are excellent when used in the conditions they were designed for, and with the correct ability level of the sailors."
It's probably true, even if the tester has come to his conclusion without sailing them all. So we might as well go home.
Not quite. This comment opens the door to the heart of our mission.
They say that designing boards and sails is a black art. But nothing could be much murkier than evaluating them. It's hardly an art form. All the stuff may be good, but it doesn't all work for you. The trick is finding the appropriate rig and conditions (not to mention tuning) for the sailor. We're
mostly trying to help you define yourselves. And all we're really rating is how well the designers have guessed who you are.
Even when you're Mega Dog Mulder.
