Did you know that there are no costume shops on Maui? It’s true. So when Halloween rolls around, a costume party for the “creme de la creme” of the windsurfing world becomes a night of unparalleled social digression.
One of our AW Staff photographers was trying to sneak in undercover to the event when she was discovered by Maui Madame R.D. Phartée just inside the door and taken for a party tour of a lifetime. Read on…
A Costume Party darling! How divine! What a grand ideeeahh! Oh yes, yes, yes! You look absolutely Maarvelous! Come along my sweet succulent paparazzi, this night is made for taking pictures.
Excuse me precious, aren’t you Angela and Sierra Emory the hosts of this gallant ball? My, aren’t you the lovely couple! Let me tell you darlings, this is one of the most outrageous gatherings of windsurfers in the world. What? You do this for Halloween every year? It’s a Maui tradition? Ah Ha Ha Ha ,Oh Dear Dear! How absolutely Deeevine! Can we come back next year?
Move along honey, the night’s a wasting! Oh my my and what kind of Lola are you? Dave Osborne in drag? Honey come over here I want a word with you. Have you considered a course in cross dressing? What? Those dear dear sweet hosts were discouraging everyone not to cross dress? But Why? Tell me tell me, Oh please tell me little windsurfer in a scanty dress! Nooo… reeaally…you mean last year all the guys dressed as girls? Including Rob the King? Oh that must have been insanely spectacular! No? What did you say? Embarrassing to have all the guys dressed as girls? Oh dear. Oh dear.
And Who are you, good looking man? WAIT! Aren’t you Britt Dunkerbeck the retired World Champion Female windsurfer, sister of the nine time World Champion male hunk of a windsurfer? Daarling don’t you look outrageous in this white tuxedo—and well, Heeello Miss Jessica Crisp and what magic have you brought to this enchanted evening? A wedding ring!! From this champion in a white tuxedo? Oh, Oh, isn’t that the most precious thing you have ever seen? I’m just so mooved… oh honey take a picture of these two and move me along… these emotional traumas are just tooo much.
Sweet flash! Isn’t that pyrotechnic, pyromaniac Peter Cabrinha, the guy who surfed the biggest wave in the world? Oh let’s go by and say hellooo! Wait! Carter Skemp! Does your daddy Eric know you are here? Oh Papi, don’t miss that beautifully bicycling Jutta Miller from Germany and “Achtung Xantos!” That is Austrian F2 board designer Werner Gnigler next to her in a Toga! I told you this was going to be an international Gala!
Darling, look over there! Isn’t that boy masquerading as Mark Angulo? My isn’t he special? And Senoritas Bonitas please tell me what’s Ted Huang doing sailing an Olympic One-Design long board at Hookipa? Doesn’t he know that the Games are over? Wait! Oh Oh! I’m so excited! It couldn’t be!
No, No it’s true! There’s the Butt sisters! Beth Butt, Bertha Butt and Bathsheba Butt! You know there is a song about them! Oh this is truly a Grand. Grand Occasion! Imagine the Butt sisters attending this little Windsurfer party. Oh deear ! I am eternally damned. I’ve just dated myself!
Uhh, there’s our boy Scott Fenton girls! Isn’t he the nicest French “Chanteuse” of the night? Did you know he shaved his whole body for that Neil Pryde wetsuit ad?
Honey! If hair was an issue, they should have just used their own guitar playing, sail designer Nils Rosenblad. Oh darling lead me on, I want to find some more starlets in these closets!
My, my, my isn’t he studly, Luke Hargreaves riding his native bird and who is that Redneck boy in drag?…
…Oh the evening is simply degenerating darling! Close your eyes sweetness, it’s the World Champion Hillbilly Bjorn Dunkerbeck from the Canary Islands putting on his best backhill accent for some late night love!
How absolutely outrageous! Look! Even baby photographer Dani DeGennaro is up for “amore a la Trojan” tonight. Oh Sugar, the party is overwhelming me! I can’t take much more of this! My heart is pitter-pattering out of control! These windsurfers are soooo outrageous and wickedly exciting!