From Down Under to Up and Over

First Letters on News of Imminent Publication

Have You Lost Your Mind?
Yo dude. Yes, you have finally succumbed to the numbing arctic winds which are about to surround you once again and totally decimate what is left (right?) of your grey matter. What, you’re bored? Is your head bored? With a 3/4 inch wood bit?No matter; as usual, I’m with you. 100%. No, 1000%. I like it. I want to be part of it. Like the appendix. The colon. The prostate. I’m prostrated. No, wait, I got it: the semi-colon! I’ll do your windsurfing porno video reviews.

So keep me posted. I have photos and writing ready to go. I’ll just quickly retrieve them from the dumpster, brush off any stray cheese whiz or mayonnaise, wrap them securely in the toilet paper and ship them off to you.

Have you lost your mind?

Don’t you want to retire? I’ll be your Gorge guy. I’m gorgeous. I’ll take 35,000 copies and distribute them to everyone in Lyle. Oops, forgot: they can’t read. Are there any pretty pictures?

Too cool, gotta go.
Eric Sanford
White Salmon, Washington


I am thrilled that you are creating a new and desperately needed magazine focusing on American sailors. I am very interested in writing and attempting to revive and stimulate windsurfing in the U.S.

I do not know all the details concerning your magazine but I am enthusiastic about becoming involved if you need event coverage, “how to” articles, interviews, race results, photos, etc.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kelly Moore
Paia, HI


Sign Me Up!
Sign me up! Who needs to see the final product—if it exudes 1/2 the enthusiasm spirit for the sport as you do, then I’m game!

Just fill in the amount (enclose blank check) and WOW me with a bang-up 1st issue! Best of Luck.
Julanne Sapranetti
Temple, N.H.


TO: The Emperor
FROM: Mike Gebhardt

You must call most honorable Gebi. Let him know what up! How Emperor’s New Mullet Wrapper progress.
With great pride to be your friend!