Cat Seeks Company:

I'm getting tired of spending my days alone. Dry cat chow from a dirty bowl in a empty apartment every day, and no one to complain to but an overworked bachelor. Please save us both – this place wouldn't be so dismal with a few feminine charms here and there (another warm body to sleep on). There's room for your human, too. Send me a picture, maybe we can tear up the scratching post together.